When life gets crazy

One of the main things that I have been learning this semester is this:

When life gets crazy, when every day is unpredictable, when I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing, when I feel confused, lost, or directionless...when my circumstances change and throw me for a loop... I must run all the harder to Jesus.  He is the only constant.  He never changes.  By running to Him, I find comfort and direction.  I can confidently rest in His promises-- even if I can't see what He is doing.  Clinging to circumstantial things only leads to temporary security and false hope.  Christ offers eternal security; assurance that we will be taken care of far after we leave this earth.  If He's promised to take care of us after this life, won't He also take care of us tomorrow?  If He has fulfilled His promises up until now, throughout the course of history, won't He continue to do so for us each day?

Let us run all the harder to Jesus;  His promises are true.
Let's not get stuck on our circumstances.  Let's get to know the character of our Creator.

A Season of Thanks

I have had the flu for a week, and have had much to think about while trying to recover.  I know that in November, it's normal to give thanks for certain things in life.  But over this week, I've had a lot of time to think about the things that really make my life a blessed one.  I guess you could say, i'm getting a headstart on my "thanksgiving"...but shouldn't this be an everyday thing?

The biggest and most precious gift in my life is the love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ...taking the place of my sin, he pardoned me from the death that I deserve, and offered me a life of abundance and an inheritance of eternal life--completely free of charge, accepted by faith.  Day by day, I'm learning to live with Him as my guide, and am completely in awe of His unfailing love and care for me.  Knowing Him changes everything.  Apart from Christ, I can do nothing.

He has blessed me in so many ways.  Some of my favorites include:
1.  my loving family
2.  my amazing roommate
3.  the opportunity to attend a school that I love
4.  the opportunity to worship at a gospel teaching church
5.  being surrounded by fun, encouraging friends who love Jesus
6.  living in an area that has lots of life, energy, and opportunity
7.  the ability to run!
8.  the ability to see the beauty of life around me, and the capability to hear and have conversations with people of all walks of life
9.  sweet fellowship with my bible study girls and my dear dear girlfriends
10. rainy overcast weather, rocking chairs, journaling, coffee, and warm clothes...


"...Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." 
~Psalm 106:1

Contagious

contagious- (adj.): communicable by contact

If there's one thing i've learned, it's that God's love is contagious.
His love is communicable by contact. 

By this, I don't mean merely noticeable, but contagious.  The Lord is visible through our interactions...He is reflected in this way, through our contact with others.  His love is able to be communicated.  And what i've noticed is that others can't settle on just seeing His Spirit, they want to know what it's all about. I've always known that, but I've really seen it firsthand this summer. And I know it is God that they are noticing.  They are drawn to Him.  A mere display of His love is radical.  It is not of this world or from this world.  It makes a statement, has a presence, and is intriguing.  Our God captivates people in a way that only He can...This is how I know...

I was cornered the other day at work.
I had just walked in the door, coming back after my 30 minute break, and my 3 co-workers were staring at me.  As I clocked back in, I asked them what was up.  They just looked at me, and said, "we've been talking about it, and we want to know why you are so happy...why do you treat everyone that comes up to the window to order food like they are your close friend? what makes you like that?"  At that moment, another employee walked in the door and heard the question that was asked.  He looked at me and asked me the same question along with, "don't you get tired of being cheerful?  how do you not get burnt out from all of that?"

I was taken aback.  This is the kind of confrontation that I knew could come over time.  What was ironic was that my co-workers had no idea that I had gotten less than 5 hours of sleep the night before, was so very sleepy, and was fighting to stay awake.  I had been working for 3 or 4 hours at that point, and earlier had spent my 15 minute break on a bench on the Boardwalk with my Bible, searching the Scripture to try to retain little verses of God's truth, praying that His word would liven my heart and give me strength during this shift.  It was an 8-hour evening shift that I knew would be busy, draining, and would require energy that I didn't have.  On this day, I was dragging.  But after spending time with Him on my break... I kid you not, i felt energized.  The kind of energy that was not the result of coffee or any other caffeinated product, but rather the power of the Holy Spirit.  And my co-workers had noticed it too.

The cool thing was, at this moment I had the opportunity to share the most important thing in the world with my co-workers.  God had opened a door.

"Jesus."  That's all I said.  "It's the Lord."

I found out later that this answer led to spark further discussion on a following day between some of my other co-workers and a friend of mine here with me on Summer Project. 

There is nothing that i can do or say that will/can convince someone to believe in Jesus.  My words can't do it.  It is absolutely imperative that I rely on the Holy Spirit...it is only God who can change hearts.

I was reminded the other night that God works through our weakness-- He delights in using ordinary people to display His glory.  So often I feel like my weaknesses get in the way of His work and that I fail Him by not fulfilling witness or "doing things the right way".  But our God is sovereign over everything.  And He uses us even when we don't feel like we can be used.

So, in summary:
1) it's not me.  I am just like every other college student working a summer job.  I'm out of school for the summer, and i'm working a minimum wage job in food service... nothing glorious.  nothing out of the ordinary.

2) it's not something i've done.  Again, i'm just like everyone else.  I mess up.  I make mistakes.  At work, I fill the wrong orders.  I forget to the give the customer their change before the register closes, or don't have the right answers to the hundreds of questions i'm asked daily.  I get frustrated when customers can't make up their mind, or when the line grows. My patience dwindles.  On most mornings, you can catch me running to work.  I'm not always on time.

But praise the Lord for God's unending faithfulness-- and for Jesus....for the way that He bore all of my weaknesses, all of my shortcomings, all of my failings... on the cross.  He paid the penalties for those.  Jesus came so that all of my imperfections would not separate me from God, but so that His perfection could take the place of my shortcomings and so that it would be possible for me to have a relationship with God. 

I am thankful to be able to live this life knowing Him.  I am thankful to be able to share this Good News with others.  I am thankful that His Spirit is contagious, and that He is working in the hearts of people everywhere.  And more than anything, I am thankful for a God whose love for me & you is more than I can handle...more than I can comprehend.

I cannot wait to share with you more stories of God's incredible work here in Santa Cruz...my heart is overflowing.

Thank you, Lord...You are so so good.

Update from the Cruz

Time has flown.
It is so hard to believe that my time here is halfway over, but oh.my.goodness....i have so much to share with you.  I am sitting here trying to think of a fluid way to convey all that I have learned and experienced over the past few weeks.  The other day I was working by myself at a little Icee cart on the Boardwalk, and was able to reflect a little bit and compile a list of things that summarize tidbits of what I have been learning/experiencing here.  I wrote them on a bit of receipt paper so that I could share them with you. I'm so looking forward to expounding further on these topics in the following paragraphs :)

Things I have thoroughly enjoyed so far:

• outreaches downtown...having in-depth conversations with locals about spiritual things.  Sharing Christ with them, and having to completely rely on the Holy Spirit for words, for courage, and for pretty much everything.  At a place like Santa Cruz, you seriously have no idea what you will encounter in conversation with others, and it has been so amazing to be challenged and to see God at work 
• working alongside co-workers...building relationships with them.  I love walking down the Boardwalk in the morning to get to my assigned food location, and on my way seeing people that I know/have worked with and being able to have conversations with them, wave to them, and call them by name.  I love working in food service because conversations are able to take place, friendships are formed, and we are able to love our co-workers by serving them and living out Christ through actions.  We are also able to joke, laugh, and learn.  Things that I have been doing a lot of :)
• visiting San Francisco...I had never been there before.  We took a day trip there last week and I was blown away!  Definitely one of my favorite places that I have visited.  Not only was the weather perfect, but the city was so unique and unlike anything that I have seen.  I loved spending the day with some of my Project friends, and experiencing "The City" that I had only heard about or seen on TV.  Highlights:  visiting Fisherman's Wharf, seeing the Golden Gate from a distance, eating clam chowder while overlooking the water,  taking the train, riding the trolley, etc.
• beautiful weather...on most days it is sunny, breezy, and "t-shirt/jeans" weather.  It gets chilly at night, but not too bad.  I now know what people mean when they say they love the california climate.  I have only seen it rain once since I have been here.  It's hard for me to imagine the 100+ degree weather in NC, because it has been pretty consistent here--- I practically live in jeans and adore my crewneck sweatshirts.
• growth...lots of it.  Spiritual growth.  The kind of growth that only God can do within a heart.  I've been experiencing that here.  We spent the first 5 weeks of Project going through a workbook called "Experiencing Christ Within" by Dwight Edwards.  I would highly recommend it.  Seriously.  This book has challenged me on a lot of different levels, but most importantly, it has spoken truth into my life and helped me to better understand who God is and where I fit into this whole "life" thing.  It answers a lot of deep questions and leads you to some beautiful realizations about the God that we serve.

Things that have been challenging:

• finding time to process... I am realizing more and more about myself while I have been here, and I have discovered that I need time alone to process and "digest" things mentally.  Since our schedules are very busy, time to "be still" has been pushed to the side, and I have found myself struggling to process all that is happening, because I normally reflect upon things and digest life by writing it out, journaling, etc.  I have realized that by not doing those things, I have been experiencing a major mental back-up of information that must find its way to paper.  I am learning to make time for that and to plan accordingly, to avoid distress ;)
• thinking about leaving... before I even got here, I struggled with the thought of having to leave this place.  I have come to love the people, this city, my co-workers, and what God is doing here, and that has made the thought of leaving even harder.  Summer Project is such a light in this place, and it is hard to think about leaving in the midst of seeing the fruit of His Spirit at work.  
• being intentional in spending time with others...our main ministry opportunity and focus is our co-workers.  We work 35-40 hour weeks, and because of the time that we spend alongside them, we are able to get to know them and build relationships with them.  It doesn't take long for them to notice something different in us, to ask us why we are there, and to inquire more about our lives, where we are from, and what we are about.  I cannot tell you how awesome it has been to see the Lord in all of this.  He is so contagious. (more stories to come of these specific interactions).  I have witnessed the pure beauty of seeing Him work, and seeing others recognize His love exhibited in the workplace, and it has been truly amazing.  Honestly, it has been such an encouragement, and one of the coolest things I have ever seen.  But the challenge comes with the hardest part being initiating time with co-workers outside of work.  Since we do have a pretty busy schedule, it has been challenging to arrange times to hang out with co-workers because people work at different times.  Please pray that God would provide opportunities to meet and also that He would align schedules with co-workers and allow us to grow closer with each of them.  We have come across multiple co-workers who are curious about having relationships with the Lord!  Please pray that God would continue to open their hearts and fuel their desire for Him.  Please also pray for us, that we would be bold in sharing Christ with others and not withhold the Truth, but share with others the life-giving freedom of having a personal relationship with Jesus.  Pray that we would not give up on pursuing these friendships and that the Lord would provide opportunities for us to share the Gospel--- That He would stir hearts and draw others to Him, and that co-workers would come to place their trust in Christ.

"How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!' But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Isaiah says, 'Lord, who has believed what he has heard from us?' So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ."

(Romans 10:14-17)

This summer has challenged me even more to look though an "eternal" lens instead of the "earthly" lens that I am so accustomed to default to in my life.  This life is not about me.  It's not about me succeeding, or making a name for myself, or working towards a comfortable lifestyle.  It's not about how much money I can make, the job that I have, what I can buy, or how I will benefit from this world.  It's not about me.  I was made to glorify God.  He has specifically given each of us gifts to reflect Him and to use for His glory... 1 Peter 4:10-11 says "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen."  1 Corinthians 10:31 says "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

So what does this mean?  Our very purpose is to glorify God.  We are here on this earth to make His name famous.  He deserves all of the glory, all of the praise.  He's not there to "fix" our lives, but rather we are here to be part of HIS greater plan to reveal His glory.  We are to live in a manner that gives others a greater glimpse of Him.

But how often do I try to glorify myself, to make my own name known?  How often do I strive to build my own image instead of showing Christ and what He represents?  

Does my life display His glory?  Am I living for Him or for me?  Am I placing Christ on the throne of my life?  Who's receiving the glory in my life?

We're called to live for the One who died for our sins.  Who took our place.  Who offers us life.  freely.  A life in relationship with Him, and eternally in His Kingdom.  What is holding you back from knowing Him and making Him known?

Thinking of you, Dad

Since I am not home today and don't get to spend Father's Day with my dad, I wanted to dedicate this post to one of the people most dear to my heart.  I feel so blessed to have a father who has loved me and supported me all my life, and someone that I can go to in any situation.  To one of the smartest and most hardworking people I know....I love you Dad and am so grateful for you.  Thank you for the sacrifices you have made, the love that you have shown, and the influence you have had in my life.  I love you!

 

 

 

Also, in memory of my granddaddy today... another one of my favorite people who i love and miss so very much...

Thinking of you both on Father's Day. So thankful for my father and grandfather.  I am  also infinitely grateful for my Heavenly Father, who is the ultimate Helper, Sustainer, Provider, and Comforter, and who has allowed me to see more of Him through the earthly "fathers" He has placed in my life.  Thank you Lord.

Power of Prayer

Dear family and friends,

There is something that is heavy on my heart that I would love to share with you and invite you to be part of.  This is something that I have been thinking of all week, and something that I certainly cannot do alone.

You see, this coming Saturday we are hosting an outreach event for our friends and co-workers that we have met here in Santa Cruz.  We will be having a Barn Party Saturday evening after we get off of work, and we are so excited!  There will likely be over 100 people here (including students & staff) to enjoy BBQ, line dancing, corn hole, country music, awesome southern desserts, sweet tea, games, and the like.  Our co-workers are so excited to come to this event, and look forward to this particular opportunity every year, where the locals get to experience a little taste of the South.  I am soo pumped to see everything come together, and to invite our new friends over and to begin bonding with them more outside of work.

This is where I need your help...your prayers.  At some point during the evening, I will actually be sharing my testimony with everyone, and will have the opportunity to share the story of how God has changed my life.  During these few minutes, I will be before a crowd of over 100, and to be completely honest, I am starting to get nervous.  If you could please pray for me...that God would give me boldness, courage, and strength to share the story that He has written in my life...that He would power my words with the Holy Spirit, and that He would pull from my heart things that would resonate and speak truth to those listening...that He would hide me behind Him, and that others would not see me but that they would see Jesus and His glory.  Friends, please pray that God would calm my heart and give me peace, gentleness, and direction, and that He would guide me in presenting the Gospel in a fluid way, and that others would seek a relationship with Him and desire to know Him.  Prayer is the backbone for anything and everything, and I truly believe that the Lord hears our prayers.  I so deeply desire for others to know our Savior, and will continue to pray that God does radical things this summer in hearts and lives.  I cannot thank you enough for your prayers...they mean everything!

"And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him." ~ 1 John 5:14-15

"pray without ceasing" ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Picture perfect

I wish that a picture could capture everything...that it could convey all emotion, friendship, memory, and situation to its fullest, and that I could translate the conversations that took place along with each image.  Here are some snapshots of some my favorites from the past week and a half!

 Me and Anna in our hammocks under the Wharf (a pier with lots of shops and restaurants).  Surprisingly, people in California have never seen or heard about hammocks like these.  It was so funny to see people's reactions to us suspended there in our "cocoon-like" hammocks.  We had a lifeguard walk by us and say "I'm pretty sure that's not allowed, but I'm not going to say anything!"...and then about 30 minutes later, 2 policemen drove down the beach on 4-wheeler things (we were afraid at that point that they would surely stop and tell us to take them down) but they looked at us and said, "That is SO awesome!!" haha, I thought that I would be learning about new trends while in California, but it looks like we are setting them! ;)

 This was on my day off of work...beautiful

 Our Project director is friends with a couple who owns a winery, and they invited our group over for dinner last Friday night-- the night before we started our first day of work and met our co-workers.  We grilled out burgers, had veggies, watermelon, potato salad, chips, and baked beans.  We then finished the night with lots of prayer-- for our co-workers that we would soon be meeting, for our employers, for our interactions, and for the Lord to use us and grow us this summer.  We also praised God through worship, and saw the sun set over this amazing landscape.  This is a picture of our view that evening.

 My sweet friend, Carlee

Me and Rebecca

Another picture from the winery

These pictures do not even begin to accurately describe all that has happened in 2 weeks, and I hope to be posting more stories of interactions with people here and also many of the ways that I have seen the Lord work recently.  I could seriously write for hours.  We are insanely busy (in a good way!) so I will do my best to post as much as possible.  Love you all and so excited to share what is happening here with you.  Stay posted for more soon!! :)

The Son sets on a beautiful week...

 (the Boardwalk from a distance)

We have already been here for over a week, and time has flown!  The people I am on Project with are amazing, and I already feel so close to the group.  We have spent a lot of time bonding with each other and it is such an encouraging community.  I can't imagine how close we will all be by the end of the 10 weeks.  I love Mike and Sharon, our Project Directors (who are also the directors at NCSU).  Their love for the Lord just radiates in every area of their lives, and their marriage is such a beautiful picture of Christ's love.  They are so much fun, and have been part of the Santa Cruz Summer Project for many many years, so everything is just so organized.  This week, I have been blown away by the ways that I have seen the Lord's hand in this project.... it is amazing.  There has been a Summer Project in Santa Cruz for 20+ years, and it is beautiful to see all that God has done up until now.  Since one of the main focuses of our ministry here is building relationships with our co-workers, we all work jobs during the day on the Boardwalk, and are hired when we get here by the Boardwalk employers.  Normally on Summer Projects like this one, students trust the Lord to provide jobs when they arrive to Project, but at our particular location (Santa Cruz) we have been so blessed by what God has done over time--  Mike (our project director) has built relationships with many of the employers here over the past few decades & they love the "Crusaders" (as they call us).  Many of the Boardwalk companies reserve jobs for the Summer Project students every summer.  It is such a blessing...We all walk in to this project having a job.  That is amazing to me.

Last week during our training, our Employers went on and on about how much they loved having "Crusaders" come every year, and that they have been so impacted by the students, and many of the employers and employees have actually come to know Christ through their interactions with students on Summer Project.  Even after the employers told us these things, I was interested to see how our co-workers would view us.  I was so excited to get started and to meet the awesome locals that I would be working with for the next 9 weeks!  Here are some pictures of the "first day" of work for me and some other students on Project who also work for the same food service company I am working for :)

I have learned so much through working in food service, and it has been much more challenging than I had originally expected.  The first day of work, I was trained in a ice cream sundae-making place and mostly worked the register and made ice cream cones full of just about everything you can imagine :)  It was fun and also stressful at times-- juggling duties, remembering orders, remembering to greet and smile, give change, make the right order & obey specifications for orders without "this" or with "that".  Haha, I learned so much!  After working for a few days, I have determined that those who are good at multi-tasking make great food service employees.  It helps to have a focused mind and to be a quick learner.  It is also humbling, because you are in a new setting where the satisfaction of the customer is the priority, and it is obvious when you make mistakes or forget to do something.  I have experienced many of those moments over the past few days!

The second day of work, I worked at a burger place, and had a lot of fun.  The company that I work for switches me around every day to different food locations, so there is always a new atmosphere. I work with all different types of people, and am serving different types of food and combo meals at each place.  While it has been challenging trying to learn the specifics to each store, I have come to appreciate the change and the challenge that each day brings.  My co-workers have been really helpful, and have really been gracious in instructing me on how to do everything.

Today was especially difficult because I worked in a place that served the more "greasy" food, and there were only 2 employees working there for the whole day: myself and another girl.  The morning was great because it was slow, and I was able to ask questions and get acclimated before the lunch crowd came through.  As lunch approached, we were bombarded with tons of customers, and I was at the register taking orders and getting drinks, while the other girl was cooking the food in the back.  Although it was so incredibly busy, we were able to tackle it all together.  Everything was great until she told me that she was required to take a 15 minute break and a 30 minute break during her shift, so I would have to operate the store by myself for those periods of time.  That is when I got nervous.  I had only been there for a few hours and we were bombarded with customers.  I had no idea how I would cook all the food and take orders, all the while having no one there to answer questions or help me if I messed up, or instruct me on how to handle various situations.  I was scared to death.  I was afraid to be left alone in this situation, and how I longed for the comfort of someone to walk me through it....to not leave me alone...to show me how to operate in this craziness.  To help me through it all.

This situation relates to our lives in so many ways. While I was in the Word tonight I realized something.  In John 14:15-16, Jesus promises that when He leaves the earth, He will send the Holy Spirit to reside in our hearts as our Helper.

"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.  I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you."
(John 14:16-20)

When we accept Christ into our hearts, we are born again, and the Holy Spirit dwells inside of us.  God gives us everything we need through Him.  His Spirit takes residence inside of us, and we are not alone, but are guided, comforted, and helped by He who came for us.  He is our Helper, our Guide.  Now that I have been working in food service, I have seen the reality of the comfort of a helper (a person who knows what they are doing) by my side.  It is so much more assuring and comforting having someone there with you to guide you through, to show you what to do, and to help you through mistakes and hard times.  The moment that that was gone, I realized how hopeless and helpless I felt-- I no longer had the sure and steadfast guarantee of someone who knew everything and was willing to stand by me.

While my co-worker did have to leave for that short time period today (and things were crazy), I am glad to have experienced that because I have been drawn to praise and appreciation this evening in a deeper way.  God is that guarantee in my life.  And He promises that He will never ever leave my side;  that He will walk with me, and will pave the way for me in this life.  Experiencing a relationship with Christ is not an emotion. My relationship with Him is not based off of my feelings that change every day, but rather, it is based off of His promises and His overwhelming love that He has for me and for you that never changes.  The more I realize this, and the more I learn about Him, the more in awe I am of what He did for me, and how much I don't deserve it.  He sent His only Son to take the place of my sins on the cross...all so that He could have a relationship with me...so that I could know Him and have a personal relationship with Him. Praising Him for his unfailing and steadfast love, and for the gift of knowing Him, the Creator and Savior of the universe.  He is head-over-heels for you...He's head-over-heels for me.

Have you experienced a relationship with Christ?  Have you ever fully placed your life in His hands?  Have you surrendered yourself to Him completely?

He promises a full life...one of abundance.  He knows you inside and out, and wants the best for you. More than anything, He wants you to know Him.  He has the most incredible plan for your life!

"I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

(John 10:10)

First few days!!

Hello hello! Ahhh SCSP (Santa Cruz Summer Project) has officially begun, and I could not be more excited and happy to be here! We all arrived on Monday, and have been settling in & getting used to our new home.  I have so many pictures already that I will post on here to try to illustrate a little of what I have been seeing and experiencing.  Let me first say that it has already been such a blessing to even get to this point, and I am so thankful for the support, prayers, and people that have helped me to get here!

I got one hour of sleep the night before leaving for Project (bad idea...haha) but my excitement helped sustain me through the day and across time zones!  This picture was taken in the airport around 5:45am before I left...sooo sleepy.

 My friend Carlee (see previous blog post) accompanied me on my flight (above picture), along with my friend Anna (below) from State!  We could not wait to get to SCSP.

We arrived in the early afternoon... and then we went on an adventure and checked out the Boardwalk, where we will be working! 

The beach beside the Boardwalk

 The Boardwalk from a distance

 One of my favorite pictures...beautiful!

There are a lot of surfers around this area

DAY 2 :)

 My view on my way to dinner...we walked downtown and ate mexican food (yum!)
such a pretty view, oh my goodness.

These are my roommates! From the left:  Charlie, Melinda, Brooke (Staff member), me, Delana, and Michelle.  In the middle is Brooke, our Action Group leader, who is a CRU staff member at UNC-Charlotte.  Yesterday was her birthday!  We celebrated by going out to dinner, and then surprising her later by delivering a card and some gummy bears to her doorstep and then singing to her.  She was so surprised :)

The first day we settled in, met everyone, had an AMAZING dinner together and made trips to Ross and other places to gather forgotten items (i picked up a pillow & cheap comforter).  We all slept hard that night after traveling!  It has been so awesome getting to know the people that I have seen on the SCSP Facebook group for the past 4 months!  It is only the 3rd day and God is doing some amazing things.  On Tuesday (yesterday) we spent most of the day in "orientation", talking about the Project as a whole, and some of the details that we will need to know for the summer.  We also spent time together with our roommates, or "Action Group", and had some praise and worship with the full group.  This morning (wednesday), our action group got together and did something called "Soul to Soul".  We spent 5 hours learning about each other, and taking turns sharing our life stories-- the hard times, pivotal times, learning experiences, and times where we have felt the Lord's hand in our lives.  It was seriously one of the most beautiful times... my roommates are such beautiful women, and I am so thankful for their openness and their willingness to share their trials and joys with us, as we just met.  We have already bonded so much, and I cannot imagine what our relationships at the end of the summer will look like.  This kind of community is so vibrant, and I am so looking forward to the ways that the Lord will change us, mold us, and work in us this summer.  

Another blessing that I forgot to mention-- I went to a local grocery store yesterday to pick up some breakfast items with some of the girls on Project.  I am so used to having coupons to shop with (I have learned from my awesome mom :)) but I did not have any with me here, so I knew that I probably wouldn't get any of the deals or price cuts that I am accustomed to.  Haha i was disappointed, because I saw all of the deals featured around the store that the "VIP" customers could get if they had a card, but I didn't have one obviously because I'm not from here.  So I get up to the checkout line, and the lady asks me if I had a card, and I said no.  She asked if I was from around here, and I told her I wasn't, and she proceeded to ask where I was from.  I told her "North Carolina" and her face lit up.  She said, "My sister lives there!" We chatted for a minute, and she said, "Ya know what, I'm going to give you my sister's discount that she would normally get."  Wow.  I was so excited.  It's completely different when you do grocery shopping on your own :)  any bit of money you save is glorious.  I definitely saw a little bit of the Lord in that moment.

I cannot wait to tell you more about this week!  We are all still learning and getting used to being here, but everyone is having a great time and we have all started to get close.  I will be sure to keep you updated!  

Prayer requests:

My friend from back home has a brother named Josh Rominger that is having a major surgery today.  Please pray for him, as he is battling cancer and has had multiple surgeries over the past few months.  His family is so dear to me.  Also, please pray for our team of 58 students and 20 staff members.  We will be starting our jobs this weekend and also meeting our co-workers!  Please pray for hearts to be opened and relationships to be formed.  We are so excited!  Thank you so much for your prayers and for your involvement in all that is going on here.  

PS- the weather has been wonderful-- warm and breezy during the days and chilly at night.  Love it!

Love,

Molly :)

Blessings along the way

Over the past year, I have seen evidence of God's hand paving the way for Summer Project in so many ways.  It is amazing to see how sovereign the Lord is in providing for us, even in the most minute details. Through this experience, I have grown so much as I see the how He has taken care of me... I look through my journal and reflect over the tiny ways that He has confirmed everything leading up to Santa Cruz, and I just marvel at His timing, gifts, and blessings that all seem to just say "this is where you are supposed to be."  I think this experience that I'm about to tell you may be one of my favorites.

In the middle of March, I received a Facebook message from a girl named Carlee that I did not know.  She had seen my name on the "Santa Cruz Summer Project 2012" group page online and she messaged me, explaining that she had also been accepted to the Project, and said that she had noticed something on my profile and was wondering where I was from.  From her profile, I saw that she was a student at UNC-Charlotte, and we had no mutual friends in common.  She went on to explain that her family had just moved to NC from out of state, and based off of what she had seen on my profile, she thought that we now lived in the same county!  I replied, telling her about the area where I lived, and after a few messages, we realized that our houses were only 2 miles from each other!  What a God thing. Of all places, she moved here, and of all things to be doing this summer, she's going on Santa Cruz Summer Project! 

Her family's recent move to North Carolina brought them to our small town.  God has blessed us abundantly through His divine placement. And...to make things even more awesome, without even arranging it, our moms discovered each other through a mutual friend!  Needless to say, this has been the start of some beautiful friendships.  Over Easter, Carlee and I were able to meet up in person for the first time at Starbucks, and 2 hours later, we had a hard time leaving the conversation and the friendship that we had begun to build :)  Through this, the Lord has also provided my mom with a friend (Carlee's mom) to meet up with, relate to, and grow with over the summer while I am away.  Carlee and I were talking about it tonight, and she mentioned that the Lord had completely answered a prayer that she didn't even know she prayed.  Now that is the kind of God that we serve...amazing.  Tonight, the 4 of us met up for a "Pre-Santa Cruz" dinner, where our moms were officially able to meet, and we all chatted for just under 3 hours :)  So thankful for the blessing of new friendships, and for the God who knows our hearts.  Feeling so very blessed.

"Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name;

make known among the nations what he has done.

Sing to him, sing praise to him;

tell of all his wonderful acts.

Glory in his holy name;

let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.

Look to the Lord and his strength;

seek his face always."

~Psalm 105:1-4

Start of Summer!

Exams are over, and it is official.... that I am halfway through with college.  This reality is so sad to me, but I cannot help but rejoice in the many blessings in my life over these past 2 years.  My experiences in college have brought me so much joy, and I am so thankful that the Lord placed me at NC State and surrounded me with so many amazing people, so many incredible experiences, and so much love.  I have been home for about a week, and am just now beginning to catch up on everything.  I am still in the midst of unpacking all that I have brought home from college, and am now just trying to figure out where I can put all of the stuff! :) At the same time, I am also getting ready for my summer in Santa Cruz (super excited!), and working on packing and preparing everything before I leave in 2 weeks :)  Needless to say, I have lots to keep me busy, but sooo very much to be thankful for!  I cannot help but reflect on all that has happened during this beautiful year, and especially most recently.

I want to extend a HUGE "thank you" to everyone that has supported me, prayed for the Santa Cruz Summer Project, and for all of the encouragement that you have sent my way over the past 2 months.  You should be receiving a note from me in the mail very soon, if you haven't already! :) The Lord has truly blessed me through your sweet notes, conversations, and prayers, and I just stand in awe of Him as I look upon the letters you have sent and witness your responses of support.  I am so deeply grateful for your generosity and for helping to make this trip possible!!  I know that the Lord has so much in store for our hearts this summer, and I cannot wait to see how He will change lives and draw others to Him.  Your involvement in this mission is such a blessing to me, and you each hold such a special place in my heart.  I love how the Lord has brought us together through this experience to unite under one purpose-- to spread the Gospel and the love of Jesus Christ to the world.  It is my prayer that God would use every ounce of what He has blessed us with and every gift that He has placed within us to bring Him glory! Thank you so much for taking time to read this blog and for your prayers and support!  Please continue to pray that God would prepare the hearts of our co-workers, and also prepare our team of 60 students-- that we would lean on Him, and that He would use us as vessels of His love!

More updates to come! :)

Love,
Molly

"Romance Redefined"

"She never won prom queen or caught the eye of the star football player, and he never understood why. To him, she was the most stunning girl that had ever walked the earth. But in her eyes, she was nothing special. Insecurities and shame had haunted her for years. Oh, but in his eyes, she was perfection.

Everywhere the couple went, people couldn’t help but notice a relationship that was unlike anything the most romantic movie had ever portrayed. After ten years of marriage, he was still enthralled by her. The way she walked, the way she laughed, the way she cried and the way she fell asleep in his arms. It captivated him in a way that surpassed his wildest dreams. To him, she was the essence of beauty. And with him, she truly felt beautiful.

One winter, she fell ill. The disease was incurable. Doctors would not allow for her to have any contact with anyone lest they fall ill also. Completely devastated in the deepest sense, the strongest warning could not stop him. No, he refused to live without her. Nothing could keep him from her. Not for a second did he hesitate to shove past the nurses to stand by her bedside, stroking her face in the same way that he had every night since they had been married. He had promised "until death do us part," and he meant it.

Just as the trees are budding and flowers are blossoming around us, exactly as they do year after year, God never fails to come through on His promises. He is the author of romance. He wrote the first love story, and ever since, men and women have spent their lives attempting to recapture the bliss of the greatest event in history.

Here in lies the reality of our situation. God climbed into our hospital beds. He came down into our sickness. He gave up His right to life so that He can hold us in His arms. So that we would have a hand to hold onto when school gets crazy, things seem out of control or when death seems to be our only way of escape. He wants to know us. He wants to know me. He wants me to look deep into His eyes and know that everything is okay. He wants to set us free, and he wants to see us enjoying the freedom He Himself purchased for us.

He even went a step further than the man in my little illustration. My God did not simply stand by my bedside when I was on my death bed. He climbed into my bed. And since there was not room for both of us, He pushed me off and took my place. Today, I stand healed, completely captivated by the One whose love was so much greater than anything I could ever know or imagine.

Are you living as if the God of the universe suffered in your place?

Have you truly embraced the freedom that was purchased for you on the cross?

**If you've never had a chance to read this love story for yourself, I would highly recommend it. Start off with the book of John and let yourself be captivated by the beauty of the Lover that whispers your name."

~this was written by my dear friend Ashley Howell, and to me it truly captures the essence of the type of love that our Creator has for us and the picture of a relationship with Him... I could not help sharing...

Abundance in Him

"My mouth will tell of your righteous acts,

of your deeds of salvation all the day,

for their number is past my knowledge"

~Psalm 71:15

As I type this, my heart is overflowing.  I have witnessed God in so many ways over the past few days, I don't even know where to begin.  If you would have been on the other end of my hour long phone conversation this evening, you would know what I mean.  Meagan, a CRU staff member from Texas who is going to Santa Cruz this summer, called me to check in on the process, and we discussed the radical things that God has been doing, and the ways that He has shown up in some pretty profound ways.

I am just resting in awe of Him this week, taking a step back to process all that God has been doing just over the past week in my life... so much.  This verse above (Psalm 71:15) hit home with me as I have witnessed the Lord recently...I am resting in what He continues to present me, opening my eyes to the many greater things He is doing in hearts and lives around me.  It's as if He is saying just wait, look for what I am doing around you...witness my hand moving here... I am with you...take comfort in each thing I bring your way...just wait, this is only a glimpse of what is to come.  Enjoy being part of my greater plan...this is Me.

The other day, my "Jesus Calling" devotional ended with:  "There is abundant life in my presence today."  I am trying to approach each day looking for what He has in store, and I have been delighting so much in seeing my Father present Himself in the craziest, most beautiful ways... His timing is so perfect.  In an effort to convey my heart right now, I decided to just write...and this is where my "pen" took me...

God YOU are my joy

in You, i have freedom and adventure.

my heart explodes, You have infused me with a love that overflows,

inner joy that cannot be contained; i must praise You.

You have made me to be in relationship with You--

I could think of nothing more satisfying, nothing more exciting

than being part of the plan that You have designed before me--

You know me so well.  How could I not want to follow You?

Is a man to choose "choice A"- hopelessly following himself every day?

Or

Is man to choose "choice B": the steadfast, loving, fulfilling path of the Creator & Sustainer,

the One who knit me together in the womb, formed me, knows me...

 better than I know myself.

Do I choose me, or do I choose You?  

Your word says to give it all up, to surrender it all to You--

 that means to give up "me" too.

my selfish ambition, my plans, my idols, my place

Lord, please make me "less" and make You "more";

I only seek to see Your face

for I am a sinner, saved only by Your grace...

What sounds better-- choice A or choice B? 

Choice B is that You, the God of all creation...wants a relationship with me

I don't know about you, but I choose B!

I was once blinded by sin, but now I see...

I am a sinner-- one who fails, I fail every day,

 I lose my focus on You, I constantly go astray.

But God you are faithful-- You pick me right up. You choose me to love and you fill up my cup. 

 Your greatness, Your ability to heal, restore, renew

is before me, behind me, and in front of me too.

You guide me and provide for me,

You are everlasting, consistent, and do not hide from me

You are available, loving, and merciful

You strech out your arms wide for me...

Lord, You even live inside of me!

How abundantly, how generously You provide for me...

I cannot praise You enough.

You fill my heart, You overflow my cup....how abundant is Your love.... 

inspiration from verses:

*Psalm 139:13-14

Psalm 23:5

Matthew 10:34-39

Catching up to where I am now...

Today I have overheard many conversations about the end of the semester, and how little time there is left in this year.  It has begun to really hit me about how close Summer Project really is.... I leave in 7 weeks!!!  Wow.  As I have received more and more information about Santa Cruz and all of the plans for the summer, I have also had the chance to meet many of the other students that will be going there with me this summer from NCSU.  It has been so awesome to hear how God has been working in their lives, and to also hear the background as to how they ended up applying for and choosing Santa Cruz for the summer.  Many of the people that are going from NC State, I did not know beforehand, so I have loved the chance to meet these awesome new friends and begin relationships that are sure to grow deeper this summer.  After hearing about how others were led to the Santa Cruz project this summer,  I figured that I would share that with you about my life over the past 2 years leading up to this summer, as many of you may be hearing about Summer Project for the first time through a letter or on this blog!  I am overjoyed to share all that God is/has been doing in my life with you, and to have you join me on this exciting adventure! :)

Background:

Things really began to change at the end of my senior year of high school, when God began to move in my life in ways that I had never experienced before.  The college application & decision process had worn me out.  I had reached a place where the plans that I had made for myself we not exactly panning out, and I was beyond exhausted after 4 years of trying to steer and secure my own future.  Through that process, the Lord brought me to a place where I began to completely surrender and let go of things that I had tried to control and plan out for so long.  He led me to NC State, an unexpected choice for someone more interested in humanities than math/science, and although I really had no idea why He had led me there or what I would do,  I had to truly rely on Him and trust that He had a plan for me there.  I could not see it myself (which definitely scared me at first!) but God is so sovereign, and it was not long before He started to piece together the beginning of the most beautiful and remarkable chapter in my life...

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart

and lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, 

and He will make your paths straight"

~Proverbs 3:5-6

Freshman year, God opened my eyes to many things, mainly my desperate need for Him and His saving grace!  He placed people in my life who challenged me in my spiritual growth, and led me to a Gospel-teaching church where I began to learn so much about Him, and became captivated by His Word.  Early on in the year, I got plugged in to Campus Crusade for Christ, a christian ministry on campus, where I joined a Bible study, and met many other christians, who have become such an encouraging community and have supported me and challenged me in my walk.  I heard about Summer Project at worship one Thursday night, and I was captivated at the thought of serving God in that way.  I had never been drawn to anything quite like it before, and wanted to know more about it.  Since I already had summer plans, I began praying about the following summer and what God may have in store.

Flash forward to December 2011...through a series of wonderful events, encouragement from friends, and lots of prayer, I felt strongly about applying for Summer Project, but did not know what location to even apply for.  There are SO many stateside and international summer projects, but after talking to friends, I decided that going alongside other NCSU students would be a good option, considering we could continue friendships and whatnot after the summer ended, and it would be nice to have friends around who experienced the same thing after such an influential summer.  So I prayed.  I prayed for answers and direction, guidance and encouragement.  After attending Encounter, Campus Crusade's winter conference, I felt very drawn to Santa Cruz, and ended up filling out the application and submitting it before Christmas break ended. 

 Six weeks later, I heard the news that I had been accepted!!! (See previous post :)) and the prospect of going to California began to get real.  Letters have been sent out, prayers are continuing to be prayed, and God has not ceased to work and faithfully to provide. Since being accepted, I have (just recently) booked my flight, been offered employment (!), and seen the Lord remind me of His hand in all of this.

This year...

The word that I selected for 2012 was "challenge"

--> I want to challenge myself spiritually.  To constantly be growing in my relationship with Him.  I want to trust in the Lord with all that I am.  Completely surrender myself to Him-- for His glory.  For Him to use me in whatever way He will, following whatever plan He has for my life.  This year, I am abandoning more of "me" and seeking more of Him.  That means trusting Him...really trusting Him.  Loving Him.  Investing time with Him.  Drawing near to Him.  Learning more about Him.  Serving Him.  Seeking guidance, wisdom, & growth through His Word.  This summer will most definitely be a step of faith, as I trust in the Lord to not only provide financially for the trip, but also to lead me and take care of me through the process!  It has already been a beautiful experience...He is so faithful, and I have already begun to see Him work in some incredible ways. 

I cannot wait to share more with you about this process, and I hope that you will join me in prayer over this summer, and in sharing this experience with me, even if it is just through this blog!  I will do my best to update as often as possible, and to share some of what God is doing each step of the way.  I am so very thankful for all of my family member, friends, and supporters, who have encouraged me, prayed for me, and supported me to make this Project possible.  

*Feel free to comment on here, to "follow" this blog, etc. -- this is the main form of communication that I will be using this summer, as I will probably disable my Facebook temporarily!

Summer Project News!

I heard THE news last Tuesday (Feb. 21)!!  Sal (one of the Summer Project directors) called me on Tuesday evening while I was in the dining hall, and asked if it was a good time to talk about Summer Project (anytime is a good time :))!  I was caught completely off-guard, and left mid-dinner to walk outside and discuss further.  After talking about the Lord, what He has been teaching me, and many other things, I found that I had wondered over to a grassy area by myself.  After receiving acceptance to Santa Cruz Summer Project, I spent the next few minutes praising God for the opportunity to serve Him in this way.  I prayed over the Project, the process of preparation, and God's provision, for my future co-workers, roommates, and everything to come in the next few months. 

I had expected "the moment" where I found out about Project to consist of lots of jumping, screaming, and excitement.  While I was by all means excited, I found myself deeply humbled more than anything else.  Earlier in the week, Campus Crusade had posted a devotional guide on "God's Holiness" to prepare our hearts throughout the week for Praise & Worship night that Thursday night.  So after reading and reflecting on scripture about God's holiness that week, I found that God was using that to also prepare me for receiving this news.  Revelation 4 & 5 were fresh on my heart, and all I could think of was this particular passage & image:

"Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!” And the four living creatures said, “Amen!” and the elders fell down and worshiped."

-Revelation 5:11-14 

I am humbled by the opportunity to serve such a holy God.  This summer will surely be out of my comfort zone in so many ways, but I cannot wait to see what He has in store.  I feel blessed that the Savior of the universe, who is sovereign over all things, chooses and desires to have a relationship with me, and that although He by no means needs to use us to accomplish His will, He delights in working through us and allowing us to be part of His plan.  What a privilege to serve a God that is alive and active- who loves us more than we can ever comprehend!  Praying that He will use this summer to glorify Him and to bring others into relationship with Him;  that He will open the hearts of the people in Santa Cruz, and work in mighty ways!

"For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:5
 

In Christ,
Molly

Update on Life!

It has been quite some time since i have posted, but that is not because I have nothing to say, but just so much to write! :)  the Lord has really been doing some incredible things...not only in my life, but in the lives of the many college students around me, their families, and our campus as a whole.  It seems like most days I either hear about, experience, or witness God working in some way.  I continue to be in awe of Him, and needless to say, He has been teaching me a lot.  One of the main things I have felt Him teaching me lately has been His power to work in anything.  All we have to do is ask, trust, and believe that He will, in fact, work! (James 1:5-6)

One of the biggest blessings this year has been the group of girls that Danielle and I have had the opportunity to meet with each week and lead in Bible Study.  These girls are amazing, and they encourage me so much.  I am continually overwhelmed by God's grace and His providence each week when we gather to spend a few hours together learning and growing, laughing and enjoying and building upon our friendships rooted in Christ.

 

Our Bible Study :)

Each week, I look forward to hearing and seeing how God is working in their lives, praising Him for the chance to meet, learn, and fellowship in His name.  We are currently studying how we can "break the mold" in each area of our lives, and go against what the world calls us to do and live for, so that we can truly seek to follow the God who calls us to follow him.

Something that the Lord has also been working on my heart about has been Summer Project through Campus Crusade for Christ (now known as CRU).  I remember a previous post that I had on this blog last year, where I had felt that the Lord had really placed the desire in my heart to apply for a Summer Project.  After praying over it for about a year, I applied to the Summer Project in Santa Cruz, California!  The sequence of events leading up to this decision is nothing short of God's hand in the matter, as everything has gone so smoothly and He has given me so much peace.  By the way it has all come together, I know that God has so much in store, and I am excited to be able to serve Him in this way this summer if it is His will.  I am scheduled to hear back within the next 2 weeks (end of February), after officially submitting my application in early January.  Praying for what is to come and that He will be glorified every step of the way.  I will most definitely be keeping this page more up to date as the year continues! :)

In Christ,

Molly